Charity In Public, Gifts In Private

Money is a sensitive topic. Giving money is an even more sensitive topic. Some might think it's tacky to flaunt your generosity. I fell into that camp until recently, opting to remain anonymous when donating to various people, causes, and organizations.

But over the past few months, I've realized this attitude may not be helpful. Charity is like justice: it has to be done in public. Charity, like justice, has to be given by those who have power and are in a position to help others. Just as justice must be seen to be done, charity must be done in public so that people start to trust the "Haves" to provide for the "Have-nots." Charity given in public inspires others to do the same and helps in the creation of a high-trust environment.

However, giving charity from the shadows has a destabilizing effect on society. While the receiver will benefit from the money or the item being given, the main benefit of giving from the shadows falls on the giver, not the receiver. Call me a cynic, but I suspect that anonymous giving often says more about the giver's psychological needs than the receiver's welfare.

There are various reasons to be anonymous, some of which are certainly valid (protecting the privacy of a public figure), but I would bet that most givers who remain anonymous do so to hide from public scrutiny or inflate their sense of superiority. This is not a new phenomenon restricted to our current sociopolitical climate. The philanthropic class - the elites and uber-wealthy - frequently give under the radar to avoid public scrutiny of their political moves. This has been happening for millennia and undoubtedly will continue to happen in the future.

Charity (ideally) is given without expecting anything from the other person. It's a simple one-way transfer of resources. A gift, on the other hand, is meant to express care and affection for the other person. Gifts are meant to strengthen relationships. A gift is fully appreciated on the thoughtfulness and intention with which it is given, while charity is fully appreciated based on the value of the item being given.

For me, the big focus now is putting this into practice. The wonderful side effect of being more public about how we help others is that it also forces us to reckon with our motivations behind staying anonymous! By shining a light on the parts of ourselves we'd want to keep hidden, we're being the change we'd like to see in others. The Sufi poet Rumi said it best:

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today, I am wise so I am changing myself.